I would not do this again.
Well I would never do this again for a year.
A year is a long time and I am feeling it.
I have learned a lot from this experience, but I feel like I should give an idea of what one exchange student girl is going through. So here on some things to think about before you decide to go off for a year.
1.) A Year is a long time.
I learned this the hard way as a woman who had only been a maximum of 1 week away from her home I decided to take a leap into a trip that was way longer than I thought it would be. Sure I was excited and my curiosity and interest stayed for a while, but a point everything became "normal." It was all routine. Get up, work (for no money), go home, go to bed. Things will become normal, be ready for normal.
2.) The love is different.
Forget outward expressions of pure unapologetic emotion in public, or even private. Germans like to show emotion only during times of celebration. Hugs are limited and there is no small talk. German Teens like you because you are the American. There are a few exceptions, but be prepared to be greeted with a straight face.
3.) Diversity
Even in the whitest parts of America (coming from a girl who lives in MN) there is more diversity then what I see daily in my community, and if you plan on coming you will experience this as well ( unless you live in a big city). There are Germans who are not really into this whole immigration thing. If you are black be prepared to be classified as the African, and to be constantly questioned about your hair. I was just speaking with a woman from Detroit about the U.S. and it brought back some passionate feelings I have regarding culture and poverty. The German people at the table tried to understand, but they don't get it, they won't get it and that is not their fault.
There is more, but I am very tired. This is not everyone's experience but this is what I live with.
<3 <3 <3
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Sick Day/ College/ The Males
I feel like I only post when I have downtime. So today is a sick day. I have a fear that it is the flu, but I guess we will see.
Well in better happier news, I have experienced a lot in the past couple of weeks. I started an internship in a hospital laboratory. I can't say that it is the most interesting and fulfilling work that I have done, but I can say it is a job, and it gives me purpose which is nice.
I took a vacation with the majority of my host family and one of my best friends from the program. It was my host sisters birthday present and she decided to go to London. London was nice but freakishly cold and expensive. I had a great time though, it was hard not to when I was surrounded by such amazing people.
I also made a pretty big decision on what I will be doing when I return to the U.S. I had picked a college before I had left but my college situation was slightly complicated. I was deferred from my 1st pick and then I was accepted to my 2nd pick and during the time I was writing a re-consideration letter to my 1st pick my dad suggested that I apply for the program that I am apart of right now. I was later accepted to my 1st pick and then after a last (very, very, very bad) visit I decided to choose my 2nd pick and to go to Germany. Later my brother who was looking at my 1st pick college was telling me why he wanted to go there, and I realized that those were the reasons I had fallen in love with my 1st pick. So in a matter of 5 min I called my 1st pick and told them to re-open my application and I cancelled at my 2nd pick. I immediately felt a sense of relief. I knew that it was a decision that I just had to make. Moral of the Story? Trust your gut.
Ok so on to my German story for the month. I have always been awkward around guys. I have never really had any close male friends. I am not good at flirting. I kind of have a naughty personality and I think my emotions are pretty easy to read considering that whatever I am feeling is generally plastered with a certain expression all over my face. I was told when I 1st came here that I would be hit-on a lot, because there are not a lot of Black/ half black people who can speak German. I was ready to take a dip in the dating pool, but that really has not happened. Don't get me wrong I have had my fair share of men interested in me but most of them are kinda well... old or drunk or homeless, so no... I get a lot of looks from not old, drunk or homeless men but that's it, just looks. I have been told that sometimes I can be intimidating because I have a really stern face when I am focused so I look difficult to talk to. My Response: They missed out. But this story is not supposed to highlight my lack of dates, but rather how my relationship with men has changed. My area reps house is majority male. My area rep is a man who has a host son, the host sons best friend and a male renter. So when I come over to his house his wife and I are the only females. I am good friends with everyone in the house. Now I am normally use to males making disrespectful comments towards me or ignoring me completely, but whenever I go to my area reps house all of the guys are amazing. They listen to me, they eat what I bake, they help me reach things (because I am short) and they are super respectful. I love them all and it is so nice to know that I actually have male friends. They really changed my perspective on what relationships between a man and a woman look like. So if you guys are reading this, please know that I love you. I am blessed to have known you all and without you, my experience in Germany would be nothing. I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS!!
<3 <3 <3
Well in better happier news, I have experienced a lot in the past couple of weeks. I started an internship in a hospital laboratory. I can't say that it is the most interesting and fulfilling work that I have done, but I can say it is a job, and it gives me purpose which is nice.
I took a vacation with the majority of my host family and one of my best friends from the program. It was my host sisters birthday present and she decided to go to London. London was nice but freakishly cold and expensive. I had a great time though, it was hard not to when I was surrounded by such amazing people.
I also made a pretty big decision on what I will be doing when I return to the U.S. I had picked a college before I had left but my college situation was slightly complicated. I was deferred from my 1st pick and then I was accepted to my 2nd pick and during the time I was writing a re-consideration letter to my 1st pick my dad suggested that I apply for the program that I am apart of right now. I was later accepted to my 1st pick and then after a last (very, very, very bad) visit I decided to choose my 2nd pick and to go to Germany. Later my brother who was looking at my 1st pick college was telling me why he wanted to go there, and I realized that those were the reasons I had fallen in love with my 1st pick. So in a matter of 5 min I called my 1st pick and told them to re-open my application and I cancelled at my 2nd pick. I immediately felt a sense of relief. I knew that it was a decision that I just had to make. Moral of the Story? Trust your gut.
Ok so on to my German story for the month. I have always been awkward around guys. I have never really had any close male friends. I am not good at flirting. I kind of have a naughty personality and I think my emotions are pretty easy to read considering that whatever I am feeling is generally plastered with a certain expression all over my face. I was told when I 1st came here that I would be hit-on a lot, because there are not a lot of Black/ half black people who can speak German. I was ready to take a dip in the dating pool, but that really has not happened. Don't get me wrong I have had my fair share of men interested in me but most of them are kinda well... old or drunk or homeless, so no... I get a lot of looks from not old, drunk or homeless men but that's it, just looks. I have been told that sometimes I can be intimidating because I have a really stern face when I am focused so I look difficult to talk to. My Response: They missed out. But this story is not supposed to highlight my lack of dates, but rather how my relationship with men has changed. My area reps house is majority male. My area rep is a man who has a host son, the host sons best friend and a male renter. So when I come over to his house his wife and I are the only females. I am good friends with everyone in the house. Now I am normally use to males making disrespectful comments towards me or ignoring me completely, but whenever I go to my area reps house all of the guys are amazing. They listen to me, they eat what I bake, they help me reach things (because I am short) and they are super respectful. I love them all and it is so nice to know that I actually have male friends. They really changed my perspective on what relationships between a man and a woman look like. So if you guys are reading this, please know that I love you. I am blessed to have known you all and without you, my experience in Germany would be nothing. I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS!!
<3 <3 <3
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Why I want my children to live here
So the days have flown by and I am sitting here posting late... again. Well anyway, a lot has happened since my post in December.
1) I have changed families :)
2) I spent a week in Berlin ( Lovely place by the way but we will get to that later)
3) I have worked at an internship for a couple of days ( and then it ended, but still I worked)
New Family Status: My new family is wonderful. They have a daughter who is as old as me which is nice especially when I need someone to talk to or if I have no one to go shopping with. My host father is a brilliant man with a good sense of humor and a humble spirit. My host mom is very open and funny she is also smart and playful. My host sister is motivated and dedicated but when you get to know her she is very funny and sassy as well. I enjoy the balance of personalities that live within this house.
I was at an internship where I took photos for a catalog. Yeah... It was a two week job and I think I worked 4 days out of the two weeks. Not something that I will be doing for a job anytime soon.
BERLIN! It was spectacular. I got to see the group again and we all re-connected. It was nice. Berlin is one of the cities that I cannot describe very well. Yes we did some touristy things, and yes we went out to the local bars and such, but I enjoyed some of the things that were not in a guide book. I enjoyed the atmosphere, the love of the group I was with and the surroundings that were just a couple of blocks from our hostel. I cannot wait to return.
Yesterday is the reason that struck me why I want my children to grow up here. I was at a birthday party for a friend. It was a girls night and like expected the talk about males started right away. A name of a girl came to the table and everyone took their turn saying how she is nice but a little annoying. I asked why this girl annoyed them, they said that she would always complain about not having a boyfriend when nice guys would hit on her but she would say no just because they don't have a perfect body. All of the girls around the table agreed that personality came before looks. How often does that happen in America. As a larger girl/ woman in America I was reminded daily that I did not fit the definition of beautiful. Here I am still large but people don't point or laugh, when the topic of weight comes up some make an innocent joke most people don't say anything. I was with 18 and 19 yr old women last night and I felt like I was around 30 yr olds. The maturity is amazing and I think it is something I want my children to experience.
Thank You everyone for being so patient :)
<3 <3 <3
1) I have changed families :)
2) I spent a week in Berlin ( Lovely place by the way but we will get to that later)
3) I have worked at an internship for a couple of days ( and then it ended, but still I worked)
New Family Status: My new family is wonderful. They have a daughter who is as old as me which is nice especially when I need someone to talk to or if I have no one to go shopping with. My host father is a brilliant man with a good sense of humor and a humble spirit. My host mom is very open and funny she is also smart and playful. My host sister is motivated and dedicated but when you get to know her she is very funny and sassy as well. I enjoy the balance of personalities that live within this house.
I was at an internship where I took photos for a catalog. Yeah... It was a two week job and I think I worked 4 days out of the two weeks. Not something that I will be doing for a job anytime soon.
BERLIN! It was spectacular. I got to see the group again and we all re-connected. It was nice. Berlin is one of the cities that I cannot describe very well. Yes we did some touristy things, and yes we went out to the local bars and such, but I enjoyed some of the things that were not in a guide book. I enjoyed the atmosphere, the love of the group I was with and the surroundings that were just a couple of blocks from our hostel. I cannot wait to return.
Yesterday is the reason that struck me why I want my children to grow up here. I was at a birthday party for a friend. It was a girls night and like expected the talk about males started right away. A name of a girl came to the table and everyone took their turn saying how she is nice but a little annoying. I asked why this girl annoyed them, they said that she would always complain about not having a boyfriend when nice guys would hit on her but she would say no just because they don't have a perfect body. All of the girls around the table agreed that personality came before looks. How often does that happen in America. As a larger girl/ woman in America I was reminded daily that I did not fit the definition of beautiful. Here I am still large but people don't point or laugh, when the topic of weight comes up some make an innocent joke most people don't say anything. I was with 18 and 19 yr old women last night and I felt like I was around 30 yr olds. The maturity is amazing and I think it is something I want my children to experience.
Thank You everyone for being so patient :)
<3 <3 <3
Friday, December 28, 2012
Goodbyes and Christmas
Thursday was my last day at my German Gymnasium. I was in
the 11th grade class and I got to know a lot of my classmates really
well. I had been there for 3 months and I thought that leaving would be easy.
When I 1st arrived I enjoyed the teachers the classes were long and
students were friendly but I did not have the connection with people for a long
time, until around 3 weeks after my arrival. I met some people who took me
under their wing and I got to know them, but I still felt like an outcast.
English class brought some familiarity, but that was met with a bit of
hostility to. The class was great, but I think some started to look at me like
a teacher rather than a student and decided to make rude jabs at my home country. My time ended and I said my goodbyes to the
people who I had grown to care about, my 7th graders who I had taught English
to, my friends who found out that I was just as strange as they were and the
teachers who had helped me on this journey. It was actually difficult to say
goodbye but the people who called me friend let me know that they were there
for me, and, as with most things, it got better with time.
Soon I
will start a new journey with a different host family in a different city. I
will miss everyone but I know that I will see them again.
On a happier note, Christmas was beautiful. My whole host
family dressed up and both sides of grandparents visited us. We ate well, drank
a bit too much and laughed the night away. We shared memorable gifts and
stories and it all was amazing. I was
without internet during the Christmas season so it really allowed me to immerse
myself in the love and warmth that surrounded me. I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays.
May you have a fantastic New Year!
<3 <3 <3
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Lets Take a Moment
Hello Everyone,
This post will not be on a happy subject.
The mass shooting that happened in CT really struck me. Not because my mom is a teacher, not because I have helped teach kindergartners and not because I have a genuine love for children. It struck me because this is not something that I have had to face while here in Germany.
Yahoo.com has this cool setting where I can check up on the most popular American Topics and the most popular German Topics. I frequent both sites often and there has been a clear distinction between what I have found. Today after the shooting on the American site there were at least 5 articles detailing the motives of the shooter, the number of deaths, what a teacher did to calm her students and reactions of people involved. Then after all of these articles there are videos of other things such as who wore it best, which foods are better for the body, a woman hopes that a furby will save her life and then we return to more violence of the NFL murder suicide tragedy. That is two instances of gun violence within the last 3 weeks. On the German site there is one article about the shooting and the rest are about fashion, health, babies or movies.
What saddens me the most is that I am used to reading about these horrible things daily. I am not saying that mass shootings happen often ( they should never happen by the way) but I have been getting used to death or at least the way that people die. I am used to reading about people being shot because of fear or someone dying because of a senseless act of violence. In 2010 Germany reported that only 158 died from gun homicide. In the U.S. the number of Gun Homicides in 2010 were 12,996. I don't know what to blame this on, because it could be a number of things. It could be the very loose gun regulations in the U.S. it could be the fact that the media (specifically movies and songs) glorify violence or it could just be some crazy people who needed mental health help. Again I am not sure, but what I do know is that my heart, prayers and comfort go out to the victims of this act of terror.
Stay Strong
<3 <3 <3
This post will not be on a happy subject.
The mass shooting that happened in CT really struck me. Not because my mom is a teacher, not because I have helped teach kindergartners and not because I have a genuine love for children. It struck me because this is not something that I have had to face while here in Germany.
Yahoo.com has this cool setting where I can check up on the most popular American Topics and the most popular German Topics. I frequent both sites often and there has been a clear distinction between what I have found. Today after the shooting on the American site there were at least 5 articles detailing the motives of the shooter, the number of deaths, what a teacher did to calm her students and reactions of people involved. Then after all of these articles there are videos of other things such as who wore it best, which foods are better for the body, a woman hopes that a furby will save her life and then we return to more violence of the NFL murder suicide tragedy. That is two instances of gun violence within the last 3 weeks. On the German site there is one article about the shooting and the rest are about fashion, health, babies or movies.
What saddens me the most is that I am used to reading about these horrible things daily. I am not saying that mass shootings happen often ( they should never happen by the way) but I have been getting used to death or at least the way that people die. I am used to reading about people being shot because of fear or someone dying because of a senseless act of violence. In 2010 Germany reported that only 158 died from gun homicide. In the U.S. the number of Gun Homicides in 2010 were 12,996. I don't know what to blame this on, because it could be a number of things. It could be the very loose gun regulations in the U.S. it could be the fact that the media (specifically movies and songs) glorify violence or it could just be some crazy people who needed mental health help. Again I am not sure, but what I do know is that my heart, prayers and comfort go out to the victims of this act of terror.
Stay Strong
<3 <3 <3
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Friendship
I feel like it has been awhile since I have written you all ( Nov 1st I apologize for the lateness). Ok so what is their to talk about... hmmm...
Well how about friendship.
So from what I have seen female friendships are pretty much the same in Germany and in America. Females are allowed to be close and give each other hugs and scream when something exciting happens. I think in America there is still a bit of a stigma that if women hang out a lot or kiss each other on the cheek that they are lesbians. I think this idea is declining in popularity, which is good, but male friendships on the other hand have always been tricky.
From my experience in the U.S. I see a lot of males holding back their feelings regarding other males. When men greet one another in the U.S. they shake hands give a quick pat on the back or something to show their appreciation but because there is a stigma about emotional men being gay I don't see any true emotions. In Germany I have seen many male friends greet the other with a hug or a quick peck on the cheek. No one questions their sexuality, no one makes fun of them, no one cares. I found it particularly heart warming to see a male student run to another male student and pick him up during one of the breaks during the school day. Another male student asked his friend to go grab something for him the other student said yes and while he was walking away the 1st student yelled out "your so sweet." It was absolutely adorable. I enjoy seeing two grown men singing Call me Maybe while taking a walk, or a girl kiss another girl on the cheek to show her appreciation, or a teenage boy hugging his best male friend and saying that he loves him. I enjoy how normal it is here to express the love you feel towards someone else without being called gay or a fag or a lesbian. I have not only seen it in German culture but in other cultures as well. At the school I was at their were a group of spanish men always hugging and kissing each other and every time I saw them they made me smile. Shouldn't we be able to live in a world where we are not afraid to love someone because we might be judged? I think so.
<3 <3 <3
Well how about friendship.
So from what I have seen female friendships are pretty much the same in Germany and in America. Females are allowed to be close and give each other hugs and scream when something exciting happens. I think in America there is still a bit of a stigma that if women hang out a lot or kiss each other on the cheek that they are lesbians. I think this idea is declining in popularity, which is good, but male friendships on the other hand have always been tricky.
From my experience in the U.S. I see a lot of males holding back their feelings regarding other males. When men greet one another in the U.S. they shake hands give a quick pat on the back or something to show their appreciation but because there is a stigma about emotional men being gay I don't see any true emotions. In Germany I have seen many male friends greet the other with a hug or a quick peck on the cheek. No one questions their sexuality, no one makes fun of them, no one cares. I found it particularly heart warming to see a male student run to another male student and pick him up during one of the breaks during the school day. Another male student asked his friend to go grab something for him the other student said yes and while he was walking away the 1st student yelled out "your so sweet." It was absolutely adorable. I enjoy seeing two grown men singing Call me Maybe while taking a walk, or a girl kiss another girl on the cheek to show her appreciation, or a teenage boy hugging his best male friend and saying that he loves him. I enjoy how normal it is here to express the love you feel towards someone else without being called gay or a fag or a lesbian. I have not only seen it in German culture but in other cultures as well. At the school I was at their were a group of spanish men always hugging and kissing each other and every time I saw them they made me smile. Shouldn't we be able to live in a world where we are not afraid to love someone because we might be judged? I think so.
<3 <3 <3
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